New York Fucking City

I’ll refrain from the old cliches, that New Yorkers really are the nicest people despite the reputation or that fuck is just a part of the vocabulary. What’s been eating at me is that I’ve decided it’s fucking crack. The OG. Once you’re here everywhere else seems lame, and you know what? Everywhere else is not lame, you just have some sort of warped perception because you’ve been on the crack too long. Everything’s posh and glitz and even the seedy has its own appeal. I long to stand in the tumble weeds, I want to sleep in the desert. But here I am…stuck on the crack, pounding my head in fear I’d never make it in the tumbleweeds for long. It’s been said if you can make it in New York you can make it anywhere, but if you’ve made it here can you take it anywhere else?

New York City feels small to me, Lilliputian, homey. Yet all the tiny facets of this gleaming gem make it shine so brightly.  The prisms illuminate me, taunting me like a sequin-clad dancer at Studio 54 long after the music’s over. Have I become no more than a hovering moth?  The limelight’s gone. I’ve basked till I burned.

Where would I go? I suppose I’d acclimate after time, though the very thought is difficult to digest. As hard as it is to imagine any other life than burning brightly until that last, long goodnight.


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5 Comments

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5 responses to “New York Fucking City

  1. How about a long vacation? 🙂
    How long is your show up? I wasn’t able to make it to the opening, but I want to check it out!

  2. You can go anywhere you want, but New York will not follow. For most people, New York is not so much a place but a concept. You know better, and that’s what keeps you here. That’s what keeps all of us here.

    But there are other places, too. They are beautiful and grounded and the people who live there have better things to talk about than their rent-stabilized apartments. Just be prepared, because they will all ask you why you left New York. Your answer not only has to convince them, it has to convince you. Otherwise, you will never stop thinking about this crazy place.

    • Argh ah…crack addiction. It’s a suffering too though. Someday Chris, NYC will all be in my head and I will be somewhere else. Or maybe that’s what we all think until we die here.
      OK, maybe at least a weekend house in the country? like the French country… aw, new dreams inspired only by NYC & it’s good people 🙂

  3. I love that idea Jenny! but who can afford a vacation while living here? 😉 Thank you, show should be up till mid-late March, we might do a closing party. xoxo

  4. Geeza-moto

    Another brilliant blog. Listen: the sun never shines on you but where you want to be. My last French country house was in Brooklyn, and we all know how that turned out. New York is constantly dying and rebirthing. What you think it is won’t be next week. Never tire of NY always tired of it.
    Hope the opening show went terrifically.

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